can you keep up

yesterday the yamaha music school@plazasingapura opened their
grand piano room and i crawled inside to die in the glorious
awesomeness until some people left and then this seat simply beckoned
to me D:i couldn't stop playing so i just went on and played every song
i knew and after that i didn't want to touch anything else. i don't
think i'll ever lay my hands upon that cheap … thing in my room again, whatchacallit, clavinova. i mean, ew.

~

first monthly shoot and i botched it quite bad. my shooting was very average and decent i suppose but gahh not good enough, and especially not since cdans interschool competition is in a week's time, gglation.
after shooting i was planning to go home and then when mrt reached woodlands some Mystical Force kept me staying on the train all the way to jurong east and then i subconciously walked until i could walk no more and found myself at fuji ice palace :0

fujibaicepalace, more like. they don't even bother updating their fucking website so when i checked yesterday the schedule shown was for december 2004 (y) and then i went all the way there in the rain to find it closed.
the primal instinct was simply much too strong to resist so i headed there again today and thank goodness i went early because they closed at 1530. i skated an extra half an hour overtime but the woman v nice, she just waved me on :D

iceskating makes the world seem like a better place :]

240306

v was a fantastic movie.
went training after movie and shot quite okayly.
outing was mostly good.
that was all for today!

despite

i don’t have to change, i don’t have to try and be anyone else.

i’ll be myself, and that’s all i’m going to be.

/random

because we are humans, because we are weak, so we doubt.
doubting is easy, too easy, it’s something all of us can do, and we do it all the time.

~

there are times when we want to live forever – when life is good enough, when there are people we love and want to go on loving.
there are times when life becomes dreary, when we find ourselves alone and realise that eventually, we will be.

~

things end because we don’t bother enough – when one person simply waits for the other to start talking, and the other chooses to think the same way, and both end up never talking, again, and again, and again, until finally there is nothing left.

when we tell ourselves things don’t last forever, it’s just us making excuses, and when we do we sow the first seed that will let things end. things end simply because we allow them to.
~

but then again, what has this world given us to believe?

~

sometimes i’m too blind to see how fortunate i am, but even though i have so much, even though life has already given me more than i could ask for.

sometimes we’re all too blind to see what we already have.

100 years

just because i’m born inherently fucked up doesn’t give me the right to keep on blaming myself and be unable to forgive myself, even long after i’ve been forgiven – in doing that, i simply place myself above those who i hurt, and then hurt them again.

i never could believe that i’d be worth enough to anyone at all to be able to hurt them, and when it happens i’d regret, and i’d be sorry over and over again.

how many regrets in one life?

to think i might not see those eyes

i just realised how distant i’ve become from so many people – my family, my cousin i used to talk about everything with, friends from the past, friends i have now.

have i been too caught up with myself, too lost in my own world?

~

i’m too stubborn, too fixated on some things to see others and that’s always how i end up regretting.
i’m so sorry.
but you’ll never even see this.

can’t take it in

by imogen heap

can’t close my eyes
they’re wide awake
every hair on my body
has got a thing for this place
oh empty my heart
i’ve got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me

it couldn’t be any more beautiful -
i can’t take it in

weightless in love… unraveling
for all that’s to come
and all that’s ever been
we’re back to the board
with every shade under the sun
let’s make it a good one

it couldn’t be any more beautiful -
i can’t take it in

the song in my heart

my earphones are dead and today i almost died on a half-hour journey -_- i’ve become too reliant on mp3 but seriously omg this bunch of bitches was gossiping away at the top of their whiny voices on the bus and it was like i’ve been deaf all my life and suddenly able to hear the world for once, and i don’t like what i heard, not one bit.

but they’re not even properly so when i plug them into my mp3 player i hear everything without the vocal layer (y) like clement said, it’s a sing-along session.

CLEMENT’S BROTHER JUST BOUGHT HIM IPOD NANO FOR FUN BECAUSE HE TOO MUCH MONEY TO SPEND (y)
anyway i’ll probably buy ipod nano also since earphones are dead and i don’t want to waste money getting new earphones.

~

i know i’m fucking naive but i don’t want to change :]

that which the ravages of time do not injure

when i chose rj, seemingly so long ago, i told myself i would come here, lock myself away from everyone else, mug to death and get the hell out.
i had so much at catholic high – everyone i loved, every memory i cherished, everything i was about to leave behind and never find.
if the eventuality of our bonds were to be their ending, then, i told myself, i didn’t want to have any more friends. i didn’t want to get to know people and care for them enough to have to remember, to look back and miss.

instead, i found friends i won’t ever want to forget.
i don’t regret my decision back then, and despite every ocean of shit i’ve had to wade through, i would make the same decision all over again, if given a choice.

it is unavoidable that the priority assigned to people in your life – as wrong as that sounds, intrinsically – varies and shifts. we talk to some people more, others less – we cannot help it that there are those who are immediately relevant, who have much in common from everyday interaction, while with old friends we can only inquire about their lives and catch up once in a while.
but we do not forget these people; we move on in our lives, on our own and together.
i once read that people, when gone away from your life, are like carpets rolled up and put away.
but so what if they are, if after so long i can find them still there, and look upon them with the same fondness?
those you loved once, you will always love – no distance dilutes it, no time reduces its intensity; love is merely locked away for safekeeping, and, when rekindled by the sound of a familiar voice or the warmth of a hug, burns strong and bright as before.

MASSIVE DRIVE FAILURE

these days got random scouts knocking at my door :0

hell i’m dead tired. every day must try and mug some shit and all i’ve worked on so far in total won’t even help me pass anything =.= random assorted bits and pieces here and there like say, INTEGRATION TECHNIQUES.

being a demigod at integrating a pos question may net me 4 marks out of 70 (y)
sheesh. as for biology, if i spent every waking moment on it there is a slight possibility that i’ll finish the syllabus but not in depth. chemistry can wait since i’ve been quite consistent with it.

PHYSICS as;lkfjaslkj. needs much work there.

the bad thing is there is training and it starts at 5ish, 6 which is a very inconvenient timing, and it ends at 9ish which means i get home at tenish and proceed to while the rest of the time away =.=

the worse thing is I ENJOY TRAINING omg omg. while mugging i’ll be checking watch to see if it’s time to pack up and go for training; i think i’m addicted la. every time i start shooting i don’t stop :0 lizhan was like “eh take a break la you’ve been shooting non-stop” and i realised i went three hours without rest.

*fuckloads of text missing*

wordpress just lost everything i typed from here onwards and it was a hugeass entry, too. and i’m not in the mood to type it out again kthxbai.