and while i keep waiting for someone like you to come along; knowing no one would ever be the same as you, nor in what likeness suffice as a substitute, i wonder how our lives might play out; how long i can go on grabbing at everything in my want of a reason, any reason – although sometimes it is enough to tell yourself , that life, wrote gaiman, has so much to offer before it gives you nothing. yes, i wait in vain. my reasoning of good things happening to good people subsists on a faith that is, for most parts, not there. (no, i’m not waiting for you.)
i’d like to think i’m almost happy.
but I’ll look down to hide from your eyes;
May 19, 2008
re: speaking of eyes
shawn: stop
shawn: look into my eyes
shawn: i need you to do something for me
shawn: i need you
shawn: TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
shawn’s quotes are like a permanent feature now.
still aching from b-boying class.
it was quite the shitty long weekend; wasted a lot of it because of poor planning. or rather, it was flawless planning that went up in flames thanks to people canceling left, right and centre.
the guys from signal course platoon had a gathering on saturday night to send one of them off to his brunei posting. we didn’t do much except walk around aimlessly a lot and finally had some dessert and drinks at sketches but it was great; i was happy enough that people bothered to turn up and that things still felt pretty much the same. watched speed racer with shawn on sunday, and then sent sng/may off at the airport for their europe vacation. in other news, sng has let me in on the cruel fact that dentistry students hath no vacations between semesters save for a miserable handful of weeks; i’m trying not to dwell on that for now.
i’m living too much of my life on my weekends; i pack an entire life into the two woefully short days at the end of each week and just trudge through the weekdays barely alive. i need to get back to intensive reading (remains of the day, kazuo ishiguro) and probably try to finish at least spanish by the end of ns. it’s hard to believe how after sixteen months i’ve still yet to get used to the suffering.
six more months, and it looks like so much more.
Still Alive
GlaDOS
This was a triumph
I’m making a note here
[HUGE SUCCESS]
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science
we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead
but there’s no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying until you run out of cake
and the science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive
I’m not even angry
I’m being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
and torn into pieces
and threw every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a wonderful line
and we’re out of beta, we’re releasing on time
so I’m glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned for the people that are still alive
go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
maybe you’ll find someone else to help you
maybe Black Mesa –
that was a joke, haha, fat chance
anyway this cake is great, it’s so delicious and moist
look at me still talking, when there’s science to do
when I look out there it makes me glad I’m not you
I’ve experiments to run, there is research to be done
on the people who are still alive
and believe me I am still alive
I’m doing science and I’m still alive
I feel fantastic and I’m still alive
While you are dying I’ll be still alive
and when you’re dead I’ll be still alive
Still alive, still alive
on a facebook side-panel that was titled “People You May Know” a picture of you jumped out at me, and i was caught off-guard.
six;
May 4, 2008
re: compliments
shawn: i love your eyes
shawn: when i look into them, i see
shawn: ME
shawn: you are just like the beautiful flower –
shawn: growing on the carcass of a rotting mule
shawn: in the rice fields of india, flogged to death by its owner, an impoverished farmer whose combined tractor had just broken down, and desperately needed it to plow; a consequence of the skyrocketing prices of rice
shawn: oh fuck!
shawn: with a capital P
wee: … but there’s no P in fuck
shawn: it’s a silent P
shawn: p-f-u-c-k
hmmm, dance night was quite the letdown. already my super long weekend is ending.
