most of what I remember makes me sure

and I hurt for the world that could have been yours.

do the things that you always wanted to / without me there to hold you back -

I’m too scared to look through the archives of unpublished text because I may not be strong enough for the guilt: I am still uncertain if it was the right thing to do to let go and to stop trying to be a friend; and my hope that you have found someone who can be there for you may simply be atonement for abandoning a burden that I could no longer bear.

you could be happy; I hope you are.