you mean hope is a conscious dream?

so strange to find wisdom in peeling gold foil upon a faded printed tee.

i muttered it under my breath several times, first as the question it was meant to be, then examining the rhetoric, and then finally certain that this line deserved its place among the axioms.

is it worth it?

~

deciding to make dance a greater priority than school took more consideration than i’ve ever had to give. the last time i thought about something so hard was probably when i was deciding between raffles or victoria. dear me i don’t think very hard very much, do i. the fine line for me is between letting go enough to tell myself it is alright for me not to excel and giving up too much, but even without this dilemma sometimes i crash and ask myself why i bother to spend this much effort at something i think i’ll never get very good at.

i remember there was a part of me which used to think “if someone else can do it, why can’t i?”, but i don’t know what happened to that. i suppose life gets too tiring, sometimes.