today i went on a pilgrimage. it wasn’t for closure nor remembrance; i guess sometimes we just like any excuse or chance to wallow. i didn’t have to look for places in my memory to visit — mostly everywhere i went some form of memory jumped out at me like it was yesterday.

i tried the chinese calligraphy pens in muji and i went through each test pad looking for things that were written from a time that seems so long ago. i wondered how frequently the staff bothered changing the test pads, because the words from back then weren’t there anymore. it’s difficult to believe that so much time has already gone by.

all these gaps left in my life; i try not to think about them much but i keep on feeling the emptiness between each finger.